


I hope you can hear me.

by elissa_skaikru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post S4 Finale, bellamy talks to clarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 11:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11035734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elissa_skaikru/pseuds/elissa_skaikru
Summary: Harper wants to help Bellamy to process Clarke's death and insists that he needs to talk to Clarke.One night, she starts talking about her favorite memory of Clarke. To her surprise, Bellamy also has something to say.





	I hope you can hear me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and English is not my mother tongue, so go easy on me please!  
> I hope you like it!

 

A year. Harper realized that they had been in that Ring for a year. Floating in the space, so far away from the Earth.

It seemed like they had been up there a lifetime, but it had only been a year. Especially, it seemed that they had spent up there a whole life because they had all become a family. The bond they had created between them could only have been formed after a life together. But it had only been a year.

They were a family and Harper was very proud of it. Each one of them had found in what to occupy the days and little by little, they were all getting used to this new life.

Everyone but Bellamy.

Harper spent a lot of time talking to him and she knew him well enough to notice his suffering. She knew his pain had a name and a surname. She told him occasionally that he should talk to Clarke, that it would help him. But he never listened. Not thinking about her had become almost a rule for him. And so his days went by.  

One night Harper called him to go to the window with the best views of that burning planet underneath them.

\- Bellamy, today makes a year since we came here. I know you don’t want to talk about her but I just want to share with you a memory. It was from Mt Weather. One night I was so afraid that I started crying in my dreams. I know, it’s embarrassing. However, in that moment I did not care, I was terrified. But then Clarke heard me. She woke me up and we walked down the hallway. That night I said things that I’m not very proud of. I was afraid, Bellamy. I was cursing the day we arrived on Earth when she looked at me and… she just hugged me. She didn’t tell me anything. She just let me cry as she hugged me. And at that moment I knew, I knew I could count on her forever. That she will always be there for us…

Harper started to cry. Bellamy’s first instinct was to comfort her but he couldn’t move. He was paralyzed. As Bellamy listened to her, he remembered the times he had Clarke between his arms and he felt a million knives in every inch of his body.

\- So… - Harper said, wiping away her tears - That’s my favourite memory of her. This is my little homage to her. I wonder if you would like to share a memory of her with me. You know, if you want…

\- Harper… I can’t…  - And it was true. He couldn’t. He had closed that door and he didn’t want to open it again.

\- Bellamy, just try. If you were gone and she was here, I’m sure she would be talking about you all the time. She would never forget you. I am sure she is listening somewhere.   

Suddenly, his walls fell. He began to talk.  Harper realized that he was looking at her and in his eyes was reflected a pain that froze her blood.

\- Well… I guess I have so much memories of her that it’s difficult just to pick one. But sometimes I find myself stuck in one in particular. And it is precisely a memory of a year ago. I cannot stop thinking about our last conversation. I was supposed to go with her to that tower but Murphy came...

It was hard to hear him talk. So much sadness. So much ache.

\- He was saying that Monty was hurt. He was so afraid that Monty might die… Raven said that Clarke could do it alone. So I just joined Murphy and started to walk when I heard her say my name. She told me to hurry and I just… I just say ‘you too’. I didn’t know in that moment but that would be our last conversation. But I think she knew it, she knew that she was going to die and I left her anyway.

He blinked and a tear ran down his cheek. Now he wasn’t looking at Harper, he was looking at the Earth

\- So every time I remember it I like to say something different. Sometimes I only have the courage to say ‘you too’ again, sometimes I say ‘don’t go’, and sometimes I just say all the things that I couldn’t say to her when I had the chance... That she made me a better man, that I needed her too, that I...  

He had to take a break to breathe. He could feel his heart tearing apart.

Finally, he looked back at Harper.

\- I guess it’s not a happy memory after all, I’m sorry.

Harper was crying too. They hugged for a while. Bellamy held her more and more tightly. He seemed to want to embrace his own memory.

\- Talk to her. Tell her this. - Harper whispered in his ear.

Bellamy looked at her and nodded. He knew that he needed to try it. .

So when he was alone, he looked back at the window with the planet that had given him so much but also taken away so much. He sat on the floor and began to speak.

\- I can’t believe I’m doing this… - he whispered – Okay, Clarke. I’m here. I’m talking to you. Although I tell Harper that I never do this, I’ve tried it many times. But you know why I never finish it? Because everytime I start to talk, I realize that I’m actually talking to myself. Alone. So tell me Clarke, what’s the point of talking to you if you can’t hear me? If you can’t answer me? How is this supposed to help me?

He had to stop. He felt a rage that ran through his chest. If only she were there with him...

\- Harper says that you’re with us. That she feels you with us. But… Clarke… I… I don’t feel you.

He remembered the softness of her hands and he would give anything for touching them again. He tried to clear his mind

\- And the truth is that I don’t know what I’m doing. Every day is just the same. I miss the Earth, I miss Octavia… Hell, I even miss Kane and Abby… But mostly I miss you Clarke, I miss you so much I can hardly stand it. And if I think that I’ll never see you again… That you mother will never see you again… That I promised her that I would never let anything happen to you and… and I left you behind…

At that moment, he thought of Abby. When he’ll see her again… It will be a constant reminder of his broken promise. He was so sorry for Abby… He could not bear it. He could not take it anymore.

\- Clarke, there's nothing more that I want than to hear your voice again. But you will never answer me. So this is the first and last time I’m doing this. Because I have to be strong. I have to be strong for you. I hope you can hear me. I don’t know in what life it will be but I hope we meet again. And that time I will never let you go.

 He took one last look at the Earth, saying without words all the things he had not been able to say. When he was returning to his room, he saw Harper. She was waiting for him.

\- Did that help you?

\- No. 

Bellamy could not lie. He entered his room, closed the door, and closed his eyes. Tomorrow would be another day.

Thousands of miles away, a blonde girl was talking to a radio.

- Goodnight, Bellamy. May we meet again. I hope you can hear me.


End file.
